Yellowstone!

OLD FAITHFUL

Old Faithful was scheduled to go off at 3:08 p.m. At 3:06, there were hundreds of people gathered around the geyser, cameras in hand, quietly anticipating the blow. The clock ticked to 3:07, everyone was waiting on baited breath, fingers at the ready. 3:08 . . . a few spurts of water went up in the air. 3:09 . . . it’s a little late. 3:10 . . . must be blowing any second now . . . Ya’all, we stood there for 20 minutes waiting for Old “Faithful” to go off!

Ten minutes in Melissa’s arms got tired, so she handed the camera off to me. Everywhere around me people would shout, “Thats’s it!” after a small shot of water flew in the air from the geyser. Even after the 50th person said it, everyone still chuckled.

And then it went off! And . . . I watched the whole damn thing from the viewfinder of Melissa’s camera. She was shouting behind me the whole time, “Get it! Get it! OH, you’re missing it!” So what you see in these pictures is exactly the same thing that I saw.

We ended up getting a ride to Mammoth Hot Springs from Old Faithful from a really nice couple from Missouri who are on a retirement trip. Kay, the woman, said it best -- “Water goes up, water comes down.” She didn’t even witness the actually eruption. She saw a few spurts of water fly about five feet in the air. But I guess it’s all the same, right?

Mammoth Hot Springs & Elk Preserve

Don’t touch the water. It’s hot.

There are signs posted all over the hot springs which sport a cartoon drawing of a boy-scout looking kid being singed in a hot spring, his mother is in the distance, eyes and mouth wide-open. These signs did little more than make me want to actually test the water temperature out with my fingers. Don’t worry I didn’t.

Norris Geyser Basin

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone was breathtaking. The shear power of the waterfall was outrageous. What also was outrageous was the path down to the viewing area for the falls. It was a zig-zagging half asphalt, half gravel steep path down 600 feet. And we were, um, walking down it. Yes - walking.

I’ve suddenly become a klutz. Melissa wouldn’t even let me walk near the edge. I was a little scared I would fall until I saw an old man, with a lame leg, walking in front of me. I half expected an old woman on a Hoveround to come zipping around the corner. Sigh . . . I’m a klutz and a baby.

RVs (Because if you are a cyclist, this is your #1 cause of death in Yellowstone)

Surprisingly, we haven’t had much trouble with RVs running us off the road in Yellowstone. They’ve really kind of become a sort of entertainment. They have names like, Endeavor, Condor, Raptor, Arctic Fox, there has even been a Desert Fox. If I ever own a recreational vehicle company, my RVs will sport names like these: F U Mother Nature, Get Out of My Way, More Gas Please, and Where Can I Dump My Shit?

But, the best ones are cruiseamerica.com. These are rented RVs. The people behind the wheel have probably never before driven something so big. And you can tell. They’re always to close to the white line or over the yellow line. Whenever one of us sees one, we shout out to the other, “Cruise America!!!” And then we get as far to the side as we can. The sides of the rented RVs are covered in photo murals of happy families riding horses, or hiking or snorkeling.

These murals are not the reality. As everyone of these RVs pass us, we can see into their lives in the RV. There is always a small foot proudly displayed in the windshield, belonging to a woman passenger, un-shoed, of course. Beside her, the driver is usually a male - white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel, face frozen in a grimace. If we are lucky enough to come upon one of these parked, the sound of screaming children vibrates in our ears for miles to come. And, the cherry on top is a small white yipping dog, usually named “Princess”.

Brooke